How to Handle “We Want to Go Home and Think About It”

“We’d like to go home and think about it.”

If you run enrollment or renewal conferences, you’ve heard it a thousand times. And the way most schools handle it — a cheerful “Of course! Take your time!” — is exactly why so many of those families are never seen again. Let me give you the method I stole, almost word for word, decades ago, and have taught ever since.

The book that taught it

The source is Tom Hopkins’ How to Master the Art of Selling. It’s a 40-year-old book at this point, and it’s still one of my favorites on selling. Every one of my staff was required to read it — a chapter at a time — and we scripted out the parts that were useful for our world. Hopkins can get a little silly with tie-downs and tag-ons, but his chapter on “I want to think it over” is pure gold, and I lifted his format directly.

The format, in one sentence: hear them out, agree with them, and then start at the top and walk back through your evaluation until they stop you on the real objection.

The method, step by step

When the family says they want to think it over, you don’t argue and you don’t fold. You say something like: “I understand — it’s a big decision. Just to clarify my thinking…” — and then you go back to the top of the evaluation you already did with them.

You revisit each qualifying point, briefly, in a form that invites a quick yes:

• “Joey did really well in class today — and we all agree he’s got a lot of opportunity to do well with this. And you’re pretty permanent in the area, no likelihood of moving or transferring?”
• “His health is good — nothing we need to worry about there?”
• “And the schedule we talked about, Tuesday at 6:15 and Thursday at 7, works for you?”
• “And the tuition of $347 to $397 a month fits the budget?”

Here’s the magic: as you go back through those points, they will stop you on one of them. That’s the real objection — the thing that was actually in the back of their mind the whole time. “Well… actually, that’s what we wanted to talk about,” they’ll say when you hit the budget. Or the schedule. Or the commitment. Now you have something real to solve, instead of a vague fog of “we just want to think about everything.”

Solve it right then — because “home” is where deals go to die

Say the thing they stop you on is commitment: “We just need to make sure Joey’s going to be serious about this. He’s dropped soccer, baseball, music lessons — I’m still paying on the saxophone.”

That’s a real concern, and it’s also completely solvable — in the room. “Mrs. Jones, that pattern of starting things and dropping out is exactly what a good martial arts program is built to change. Between the belts and the stripes, he’s getting constant forward motion, goal-setting, and rewards. When he’s here, class is fun and he wants to do well. That’s precisely the behavior you’d like to change, am I right?”

Now watch what happens if you don’t solve it and you let them go home to “drill the kid on whether he’ll be committed.” Nothing happens. The child is never more excited than he is right after a fun class in front of you. By the time they get home, he’s played three video games, watched five YouTube videos, and gone out on his bike. Mom asks, “So, were you going to be serious about karate?” and gets a lukewarm “I think so… yeah, it’s fun.” Everyone gets uncomfortable, and the decision quietly dies.

Dr. Greg Moody puts the psychology bluntly: zero percent of people, in the history of the world, went home and checked their finances before coming back. Nobody goes home and builds a spreadsheet. Nobody has the long, careful family discussion they promised. If you want the research, look up the “doorway effect” — people literally forget things the moment they walk through a door. That’s why you address it right then, in the room, and solve the problem before they move on.

Diagnose specifically — never accept “just everything”

The mistake most people make is asking, “Well, what specifically did you need to talk about?” and accepting the answer they get: “Oh, just everything. We want to make sure it’s a good fit for the family.” That tells you nothing and solves nothing.

Don’t ask them to name it. Show it to them by going back through each specific point yourself: “We talked about you being permanent in the area — no concerns there? And his health? And the schedule?” One of those will land. They usually won’t volunteer the real objection; they’ll blow a smoke screen. Your job is to walk the list until the smoke clears.

Most “think about it” is a pre-qualifying failure

Here’s a deeper truth: a lot of the time, “I want to think about it” simply means you didn’t pre-qualify enough on the way in.

I’ve sat down with a mom and her husband, run the whole conference, and only discovered at the end that he’s the new stepdad and the biological father needs to be in the loop. I shot myself in the foot by not knowing the details up front. So before you ever present tuition, make sure they’ve been prepped and they actually want to move forward.

A simple pre-qualifying question does most of the work: “Assuming the details work out okay for the budget, is this something you’d like to see Joey do?” — “Oh, absolutely.” Great. Now you’re presenting to someone who’s already told you they want in, and the “think about it” reflex mostly disappears.

Renewals: same method, a little more leeway

Renewals get a bit more grace, because these are students who are already coming to class — if they say “we’ll be back Tuesday,” they probably will. But a little more leeway is not let them walk on any objection. Use the same method. And critically, if you do agree they’ll decide later, put it on the schedule as a real appointment — texted, called, and emailed — confirmed with both parents, with the specific thing you’re following up on. Make it a big deal. Otherwise mom drifts in without dad, you’re chasing them, and it becomes a nightmare.

Jeff Smith adds two tools worth stealing. First, gentle urgency: “You absolutely can think it over — I’d just hate to see you miss this month’s special. If you finalize today, you get half off the down payment and $50 off the monthly tuition.” Then straight into “just to clarify my thinking…” so there’s no space for them to retreat. Second, when the real objection is money, offer a bridge: “Let’s put him on our goal-belt scholarship guarantee — that gives you a full belt cycle to see whether it fits the budget. If it doesn’t, we can cancel. But it lets you find out.”

The wrong lesson

One more thing I always told my staff. Every so often someone would come to me thrilled: “They went home to think about it, came back, and enrolled — it all worked out!” And I’d say, “I’m sorry that happened.”

They’d look at me like I was crazy. But here’s why: they just learned the wrong lesson — that letting people go home and think about it works. It doesn’t, 99 times out of 100. If you’ve presented all the details, the family isn’t coming back; they’re gone. Your job is to solve the problem right then and there — or not. That one lucky comeback teaches a habit that costs you dozens of enrollments down the road.

So hear them out. Agree. Start at the top. Walk the list until they stop you. Solve the real objection in the room. That’s how you turn “we’ll think about it” into “where do we sign?”

Want this scripted out word-for-word for your team — plus the pre-qualifying questions that prevent “think about it” in the first place? We build and role-play these with members inside Martial Arts Wealth Mastery. Schedule a free coaching session with Stephen Oliver and Jeff Smith.