The Both-Parents Enrollment Method: Bring Dads Into Class

Updated October 20, 2026

Involve dads before you talk about money. A father who has seen a class, met the instructor, and watched his child light up becomes your strongest advocate. A father who first hears about your school in a rushed phone call becomes a veto. The Both-Parents Enrollment Method prevents that veto and strengthens retention.

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The Silent Veto in Your Enrollment Room

Picture this scene, because I have watched it play out thousands of times. A mother brings her child to your school. The child takes a trial class, loves it, and the mother is excited. You sit down to enroll. Then she says, “I need to talk to my husband first.”

Most owners treat that as a stall. Sometimes it is. But more often than not, it is a real structural problem: the second decision-maker, and in my experience more often than not it is dad, has seen nothing.

He has not seen a class. He has not seen his child in a class. He has not seen the child’s reaction, or the way the instructor connects with the kids, or the weekly lessons, or the character discussions we call mat chats. He has not seen the facility. What he has is a secondhand report from his wife, usually delivered at a bad moment, and a price tag.

That is when enrollments fall apart. When one parent feels bulldozed into a decision, that parent holds an unspoken veto. Even when he says yes, he may say yes grudgingly. Three months later, when money is tight or the schedule gets busy, the grudging parent is the one who says, “Do we really need to keep doing this?”

So this is not only an enrollment problem. It is a retention problem. A student whose father never bought in is a student at risk from the first day.

Why Dads Matter More Than You Think

I am not making a sociological claim. I am describing a pattern I have seen across forty years of running schools: in most two-parent families that come through our doors, one parent does the research and the logistics, and the other holds the final say on spending. In a large number of those families, mom brings the child and dad holds the veto.

There is a second reason that has nothing to do with money. The family experience in your school is stronger when both parents are part of it. A child who sees dad at the edge of the mat, or in a family class, or at a belt test, learns that this activity matters in the household. Children persist in what their parents visibly value.

Here is what I teach owners: do not treat the second parent as an obstacle to get past. Treat him as a participant to bring in.

The Both-Parents Enrollment Method

The method has four stages. Each one is designed to give the absent parent the same experience the present parent has had, before any conversation about tuition.

1. Capture: get the second parent’s contact information at the first touch.
2. Immerse: load him with proof before the money conversation.
3. Invite: bring him into the building, ideally into a class.
4. Include: keep him involved after enrollment through events, goals, and recognition.

Let me teach each stage.

Stage One: Capture the Second Parent Early

On the first call or the first online inquiry, you are speaking to one parent. The easiest time to ask for the other parent’s details is right then, before there is any pressure.

At minimum, I want the second parent’s mobile number and email address. Here is a script I would use:

“Most families like to have both parents in the loop, since you’ll both be part of your child’s progress. May I get dad’s mobile number and email so we can send him everything we send you?”

Notice the framing. You are not asking for permission to sell him something. You are offering to keep him informed. Most parents agree readily.

Put the answer in your system and set it up so every message that goes to the first parent also goes to the second. If your software cannot do that, a team member can forward it by hand.

What to Do When the Parent Says No

Sometimes a parent will say, “He is not really involved in this.” Do not argue. Say, “No problem. If you’d like, I can send you a short video you can show him tonight.” You have now created a way for the second parent to see something without the first parent having to describe it.

Stage Two: Immerse Before You Discuss Money

This is the heart of the method. Before I talk to anyone about price, I want them impressed with what we do. I want them impressed with our instructors, our facility, and most of all with the grin on their child’s face and the level of enthusiasm the child puts into the class.

I want that for both parents. Here is what I send to the second parent, usually by text and email, within hours of the first visit:

• Testimonials from parents of similar-aged children, in short video or written form.
• Feedback from the instructor about what their own child did well in the trial class.
• Walkthroughs: a short video tour of the facility and a clip of what a typical class looks like.
• A written evaluation of the child’s strengths, which becomes the basis for goals.
• A look at the curriculum: the lesson of the week and the character topics for the month.

Think about what this does. By the time the family sits down to talk about tuition, the second parent has already seen the child’s reaction, the instructor’s approach, and the program structure. He is not walking in cold.

Compare that with the alternative that I try to avoid: a thirty-minute-notice message saying, “Can you jump on a video call so we can go over the finances?” He has seen nothing. He is hearing numbers before he has seen value. That is a setup for a no.

The Rule of Value Before Price

My enrollment philosophy has a sequence. The family has to like the activity first. Then they have to like and trust the people. Only then does the question of whether it fits the budget become relevant. If you reverse the order and lead with price, you get a price objection every time.

The second parent is almost always a step behind in this sequence. He may not have gotten to the first gate yet. Immersion catches him up.

This is the same logic I teach in Stop Selling Mat Time: families do not buy hours on a mat. They buy an outcome for their child, and both parents need to see that outcome before they will pay for it.

Stage Three: Invite Dad Into the Building

Video is a good substitute. It is not as good as being there. The best outcome is that the second parent comes to the school and sees it himself.

Here are practical ways to invite him:

• Schedule the first intro at a time both parents can attend. Ask early: “Is there a time that works for both of you to come in?” Offer evening and weekend slots.
• Build a dad-friendly observation spot. Seating where he can watch without being in the way, with clear sight lines.
• Offer a parent participation moment. A short part of the class where parents join in, even something as simple as holding pads or learning a basic technique with their child.
• Run a “Dads and Kids” class or event. One class each month where fathers train alongside their children. It does not need to be a full program. It can be a one-hour, high-energy event.
• Invite him to a family class or adult class. Many fathers become students themselves, which is excellent for the family and for your revenue.

When a father is on the mat with his child, he sees the instructor, the culture, and the structure without anyone selling him. He feels the value personally.

Use a Video Call Only as a Last Resort

Sometimes a family cannot get both parents into the building. A video call is possible, but I treat it as a last resort. The problem is that the person on the call has not seen a class, has not seen his child in a class, has not seen the interaction with the instructor, and has not seen any of the materials.

If you must use a call, do the immersion work first. Send the testimonials, evaluation, and walkthroughs before the call, so that the call is the second conversation, not the first. And do not schedule it with thirty minutes of notice.

Stage Four: Keep Dad Included After Enrollment

Winning the enrollment is only the start. The same father who was skeptical at the beginning can be your best retention asset if he stays engaged.

Here is how to keep him in the picture:

1. Copy both parents on communication. Progress updates, belt test notices, and event invitations go to both.
2. Set goals with both parents. In my approach, retention begins with goals, not contracts. At the start, we agree with the family on what they want for their child. I explain this in Goals, Not Contracts: The Trial Enrollment. When both parents helped write the goals, both parents care whether they are reached.
3. Invite him to every milestone. Belt tests, graduations, and leadership team events.
4. Give him a role. Ask him to help with an event, run a tournament table, or speak to the class about his career. Fathers like to be useful.
5. Recognize him publicly. A “Dad of the Month” mention, or a photo of a father and child at a family event.
6. Make the ask for the right reason. When you ask him to come, make it about his child. “Your son has a belt test on Saturday. He would love to have you there.”

The Retention Math Behind Involving Dads

Let me connect this to the numbers, because I want you to see why this is worth the extra effort.

Industry attrition runs about 3 to 5 percent a month. Well-coached schools aim for below 2 percent. A new student costs five to seven times more to acquire than to retain, which is roughly $150 to $300 per enrollment in ad spend and staff time.

Take a worked example. Say you have 200 students paying about $375 a month, which is $75,000 a month, or $900,000 a year. If you lose 4 percent a month, you lose 8 students and $3,000 of monthly revenue each month, and you need to replace them. If you reduce attrition to 2 percent, you lose 4 students a month. Over a year, that is about 48 more students retained than at the 4 percent rate.

If each of those retained students is worth $375 a month for another year, the difference is more than $200,000 in annual tuition revenue. I am not claiming that dad involvement alone achieves that. I am saying that it is one of the most overlooked levers in the system, because a disengaged parent is a leading indicator of a student who is about to quit.

If you want to measure where in your process families are slipping away, my Intro Leak Audit shows you how to track each step from inquiry to enrollment.

Scripts You Can Use This Week

At First Contact

“Thanks for calling. We’d love to have you and your child come in. Are there other adults who help make decisions about activities for your child? We like to include everyone so nobody feels left out. Could I get their mobile number so we can send them a quick welcome video?”

After the Trial Class

“[Child] did a great job today. I’m going to text you a short video of the class and a written evaluation. Would it be okay if I send the same thing to dad so he can see how much fun [child] had?”

When the Parent Says, “I Need to Talk to My Husband.”

“Of course, that’s a smart thing to do. Most families make this decision together. Has he had a chance to see [child] in class? I’d love for him to come in this week and see it for himself. Which evening works best for both of you? In the meantime, I’ll send him the video and evaluation so you aren’t left to explain everything alone.”

That last line matters. It takes the burden of selling off the first parent. She does not have to become your sales representative at the dinner table.

Inviting Dad to a Class

“We have a dads-and-kids class on the first Saturday of each month. It’s high energy, and fathers tend to love it. Would you like to bring [child] and join us?”

Common Mistakes

1. Talking about money before showing value. Reverse the sequence and you will meet a price objection.
2. Treating “I need to ask my husband” as a stall. Treat it as a signal that the second decision-maker has not been included.
3. Relying on a rushed call. A last-minute video call does not replace seeing a class.
4. Forgetting the second parent after enrollment. Dad’s buy-in decays if he is never seen again.
5. Making dad feel pressured. The goal is to involve him, not to corner him. Bulldozing creates exactly the resentment you are trying to avoid.
6. Using one message type. Send video, text, and email so the content gets seen.

Your Implementation Checklist

• Add a field for the second parent’s mobile number and email in your intake form and your phone script.
• Create a short video walkthrough of your school and a sample class.
• Collect five or more parent testimonials, including at least two from fathers.
• Write a one-page child evaluation template you can send after every trial class.
• Offer evening and weekend intro slots so both parents can attend.
• Set up automatic messages to copy both parents.
• Schedule a monthly dads-and-kids class.
• Add dads to your milestone invitations.
• Track how many enrollments include both parents at the intro, and compare their first-year retention with the rest. If you are not tracking attrition, start with my Scorecard Method.

For more strategies on keeping students and families engaged, visit my student retention hub.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is it so important to involve the father in the enrollment process?

In many families, one parent brings the child and the other holds the final spending decision. If that parent has not seen a class, the instructor, or his child’s reaction, he is deciding on price alone. Involving him early removes the silent veto and improves the odds that the family stays.

What if the father simply cannot come to the school?

Send him everything the other parent saw: testimonials, an evaluation of his child, and walkthrough videos of the school and a class. Get his mobile number and email at first contact. If you must use a video call, make it the second conversation, after he has seen the material, and give him more than thirty minutes of notice.

How does a dads-and-kids class help retention?

When a father trains next to his child, he experiences the value personally, and the child sees that the activity matters to the whole family. Children persist in what their parents visibly support. A monthly event also gives the father a regular reason to be in the building.

Your Next Step

If you want help building an enrollment and retention process that brings both parents in, request your Free Consultation (Personal Evaluation, a $1,297 value).

To learn how to teach in a way that keeps students and parents inspired, get my free book, Extraordinary Teaching.

About the author: Stephen Oliver, MBA and 10th Degree Black Belt, is the Founder and CEO of Mile High Karate and Martial Arts Wealth Mastery, CEO of NAPMA (National Association of Professional Martial Artists), and Publisher of Martial Arts Professional magazine. He has owned schools since 1975, founded Mile High Karate in 1983 with $10,000, and reached $1 million in annual revenue by 1985. His coaching team includes Grand Master Jeff Smith and Chief Master Greg Moody, PhD.